Fox News Declares Democratic National Convention a Failure

In a surprising report, Fox News has already declared the not-yet-held Democratic National Convention a failure.

Early Monday morning, Fox anchor Brit Hume announced, “While the Democrats are still gathering here in Denver, by all accounts their planned convention has been a complete failure. Meanwhile, John McCain will be speaking to a crowd of more than fifteen today at the Sunnyvale Retirement Community; an agile move that will utterly upstage anything the Democrats may have to offer.”

While Fox News is known to use a whole host of psychics, seers, and mediums to forecast the news, this early revelation about the DNC has surprised many.

Noted political expert James Carville said, “Dang! Them boys really scooped me on that one. I didn’t think the convention even started until tonight.”

Republican vice president hopeful Charlie Crist said, “Everyone has to put on their convention and I’m sure the Democrats will have theirs. By the way, have I mentioned that I’m now engaged… to a real live woman?”

We attempted to get a comment from still presumptive Democratic presidential candidate Barak Obama on this story, however, he was busy holding a forum with Hillary Clinton and about 2,000 supporters on creating an effective and cost-saving national health care system.