I actually used to take the time to think up the stories I would write for this blog, but today I realized that it’s a waste of time when I live in a city that offers up the ridiculous on a daily basis.
Case in point: on my way to work today I found myself behind a woman of exceptional size. Now, she wasn’t the widest load I’ve ever seen, not by a long shot, but she was definitely someone who had long ago lost her right to wear anything of a spandex nature. Unfortunately for me, and everyone else with eyes, she failed to get that message. She was wearing some grass-green spandex pants which made her backside look like the back nine at Augusta.
More to the ridiculous was the statement emblazoned across her backside. The screen printed letters straining in vain to hold together boldly stated, “Social Climber”. We’ve all see “Juicy” and “Princess” and all manner of sexual inuendo and misplaced self esteem on pants as these, but “Social Climber”? Is the concept that her planetoid ass was going to allow her ascent up the social ladder? I guess it depends what ladder one is attempting to climb. Perhaps her goal is to reach the lofty heights of top ho in the South East.
We should all have dreams, but I think her first dream should not be social climbing but some stair climbing.
