The recent flooding in the nation’s heartland has decimated this year’s crop of the letter C. The C shortage has brought the production of Coach handbags and other C branded items to a standstill. It has also caused the price of the remaining stock of Coach merchandise to skyrocket.
“I was going to buy a Coach coinpurse for $180, but it just went up to $370 so now I’m going to have to sell a lot more blood plasma to get it,” said teenager Gina Valenti.
C farmers are faring much worse. “There’s just no saving the crop at this point,” said Doug Johnson. “It’s just too wet to try to replant now and we’d never be able to harvest before the frost comes.”
Young, self conscious, and financially naive women around the world are in a panic due to the C shortage. “I mean, like, how are people going to know my purse was needlessly expensive if it doesn’t have Cs plastered all over it,” Mary Mancuso opined.
“I guess I’m going to have to step up to a Birkin bag,” said Shelly Anthony. “Anything I can do for you for, say, fifty bucks?”
Early indications from the Department of Agriculture indicate that the Fs for the Fendi line seem to have come through the flooding mostly intact.
Gucci is still estimating the damage to the G crop before making any changes to their business plan.
1 response so far ↓
farmer jones // June 28, 2008 at 4:00 pm
It’s worse than you think, we replanted the C fields with Q’s, turns out that the U’s grown in Montana are dying from the drought. That’s going to make the Q market nearly worthless
Leave a Comment