McCain Misses New Hampshire

John McCain expected to make a big push in the New Hampshire primary, but he ended up lost and confused in Vermont instead.

The McCain campaign has been so strapped for cash that they had to let their bus driver go. McCain has been driving himself for the past three weeks. “I was hoping for a navigation system for Christmas, but I got a Life Alert monitor instead,” McCain said. His wife Cindy has been navigating for the campaign by a combination of sextant and tea leaves.

Apparently a cup of earl grey made McCain take a wrong turn into Vermont where he spent the last three days campaigning. “We were really impressed to see him spend so much time here especially with the New Hampshire primary looming,” said Vermont resident Ruth Billings.

When news of McCain’s misadventures broke Hillary Clinton said, “It’s just another example of Republicans going in the wrong direction. And I’m the candidate for change, not Barak Obama, he stole the idea from me. I’ve been about change ever since fourth grade.”

New Hampshire’s voters were relieved to learn that McCain was OK. “We were all wondering where the heck he was,” said Sally Morton. “When he didn’t show, I thought something may have happened to him,” she said.

Another New Hampshire voter, Steve Jones, said, “What did you expect? The guy’s 71 and driving a bus. No good can come from that.”